I’m going to be really up front and honest with you! Over the last week I’ve had a handful of different ideas about what I wanted to share with you this month. As time drew closer I found myself really wrestling with this. It’s been a new experience for me on this platform, because every blog I’ve written to date has flowed out of me very organically. I just couldn’t settle with one topic or the other.
So this is where I’ve landed. It’s a slightly different place than usual, but I promise you it will still be of great value!
Firstly, I want to acknowledge those of you who are grieving this Christmas. Someone you love so dearly is no longer here with you. Their death has left an overwhelming void in your life, and in anticipation of this Christmas season you may be wondering how on earth you’re going to navigate such a time that once held so many special moments and memories – but now is accompanied by a void, empty feeling that sinks so incredibly deep. Can I say to you – GRIEVE. Give yourself permission to do what you know you need to do this Christmas…your first without your loved one. Allow yourself the time to process the enormity of what you’ve lost and the difficulties you’re likely to encounter in the days, weeks, months and years to follow. And let those closest in your world in on your journey so they can be there to offer understanding and support when it’s required. If I can urge you to do one thing it would be this: Surround yourself with (supportive) people. Do not isolate yourself and shut people out of your world for an extended period of time. There is a level of isolation that may be appropriate for a short season. As you may already be aware of, there are so many layers to grief, particularly surrounding holidays and special occasions, not unlike Christmas. But I am going to keep that deeper discussion for another time.
This time I’d like to speak to those of you who feel you have grieved in such a way that you are ready to move forward, ready to make the changes necessary to move into the next phase of your life.
You’re very aware that life looks different now. Maybe you’re beginning to find your new groove and finding a strange sense of comfortability in that, or perhaps you’re still on the journey to figuring that out. Either way, you’re ready to move forward, yet unsure of how you’re going to make that actually happen.
This Christmas is a significant marker for you. So I’d like to offer you some thoughts right here.
If you’ve followed me at all on the various social media platforms over the past 12 months you would have an idea about my ‘flavour’ when I share or write. I’m very passionate about guiding and helping people to move from a place of feeling ‘stuck’ to a place of finding their new groove, where they are ‘Freed to Rise’ into all they’ve been designed and put here on this planet to be.
So here we go!
The key elements to master as you move from ‘feeling stuck’ to ‘being free’. Mindset. Thinking. Words. Behaviour. Sounds pretty simple right?!?
At this time you possibly feel as though you’ve gained more mental clarity. The fog that enshrouded you has lifted, if not fully, to a much greater degree than previously.
“So where do I start?”, I hear you ask.
Since we’re into the Christmas season here, I’d like you to stop for a few moments, or alert yourself to becoming more aware, of what thoughts have been running through your mind regarding how you navigate Christmas this year. Is it that you just want it to be over; you just want to be able to survive it; or you’d rather ‘tap out’ until such time as you can sort yourself out? Is your language geared toward the negative or positive? Do you find people steering clear of you, or wanting to be more engaged with you? This is the time to be brutally honest with yourself if you truly want to move forward! If you’re unsure, ask someone trusted and close in your world to share honestly from their perspective (this will take courage)!
Regardless of where you’re at, identifying those thoughts is absolutely foundational in making any progress moving forward. Once you’ve pinned down some of those thoughts your next step is to make a very deliberate choice to alter your language. Once again, sounds easy enough perhaps. But when we understand how powerful long-term patterns and habits can be, we recognise the need for a concerted effort to make a change that will add value and life to your world, rather than sucking the life out of it!
This is not something we can leave to chance. And it’s certainly not something that will happen on its own. Decide what you want to change. Decide what it is you’re wanting to work toward. Start to speak it (even if it isn’t fully your reality right now). Speak it as though it IS your current reality! This doesn’t mean you deny any of the factual evidence in your life at this moment. It just means that isn’t your sole-focus. I am not and never will be an advocate for denial! I am however, a strong believer (based on evidence in my own and countless numbers of people world-wide) in the power of our words. You become what you speak. You get what you say. If it’s joy, meaningful relationships, or a more purpose-filled life you’re wanting…start speaking it out loud NOW…in the present-tense. Begin to speak out those things that are not, as though they are!
I am joy-filled – I am of great value – I bring life to those in my world – I am generous with my words and time – I am full of hope – I have a purpose.
These are just a few to get you started. Write them down. Add your own declarations. Rehearse them daily, hourly even, until such time as they become your reality. This is not a once-off activity. You want to create a new ‘normal’, a new default system in your brain. In order to delete the old way of thinking and doing, the new pathway must become stronger and more regularly used than the old ‘default’ you’ve known until now.
I want you to know that as soon as you commit to doing this, there will be, as there inevitably is in life, something that happens that causes you to feel like you’ve undone everything that you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Don’t be discouraged. Keep going. Keep working on those new patterns and habits until they become so automatic that you won’t allow yourself to be derailed.
Your behaviour will follow your change in thoughts and your altered language. The opportunity you have to change the way you experience life right now is here for the taking.
THIS IS YOUR SEASON! YOU ARE READY FOR A FRESH BEGINNING! YOU CAN DO THIS!
WISHING YOU A WONDERFULLY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SEASON FILLED WITH LIFE and LOVE!
With you as you discover your ‘Freedom to Rise’,